“I get collared next week, right before my birthday. I am so excited and I just want to tell everyone ! But it’s a pretty risque subject. A few of my friends know about my BDSM relationship, and my Master has required me to wear my collar and leash around some friends as a punishment. I know I’m going to show it off once I get it, but I’m afraid that some people won’t understand how our relationship works. Any advice ?”
You don’t HAVE to explain it to anyone unless you want to. If they ask why you’re wearing it, then just tell them it’s special to you or that it represents something important. No need to go into details unless you want to or unless they mention something specific about collaring and BDSM.. then feel free to talk about it as much as you want to! If you want to show it off when you are wearing it, then be prepared to meet some negative remarks. If someone says they don’t understand why you’d want to wear a collar, you can compare it to wearing a wedding ring if you want, or a promise ring or any other important jewelry a significant other would gift you. It’s special because it represents your relationship.
Wikipedia defines ‘Sensory Deprivation’ as; “The deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more of the senses. Simple devices such as blindfolds or hoods and earmuffs can cut off sight and hearing, while more complex devices can also cut off the sense of smell, touch, taste, thermoception (heat-sense), and ‘gravity’. Sensory deprivation has been used in various alternative medicines and in psychological experiments…”
With so much serious (and great) information at your fingertips when you visit our site, I thought I’d do something a little less serious, that you could even share with your ‘vanilla’ friends and family. I’m sure we’ve all seen those lists of sex laws that are on the books in some states. Lately, I’ve come across even more that I never knew existed. I didn’t think I could be surprised anymore by these things, but lo and behold, I was mistaken! What follows is a fun list I’ve put together combining many of these strange laws in one place. Some are not state-wide, and only on the books in certain areas, or cities, however, including that would make this article unbearably long, so I just decided to name the states.
The ABC’s of Kink and Abuse written by silverdreams
Personal responsibility and obligation is a difficult topic to write about. It differs for each of us. Trying to find a balance between each individual’s personal responsibility and the obligation we owe to each other within a community is like walking a tightrope- focus too much on personal responsibility and we risk “blaming the victim”; focus more on community obligation and we risk blaming the community for the actions of a few. We each have our comfort levels. We each have what we’re willing to believe. And we each know how much we want to pretend that all of the questions we ask will have answers.
Nevertheless, I believe that both personal responsibility and the community’s obligation towards others is the first line of defense in combating abusive behavior within the BDSM scene. Continue reading →
A Shinju is a basic chest harness, will support the breasts and can be used as a harness to be tied off to an object, there are literally hundreds of way to make a chest harness, and below I am going to show the way I do them, and a couple variant’s to that.
For everyone, what constitutes a 24/7 relationships differs, like everything else in BDSM. The definition of a 24/7 relationship is simply a relationship where the people involved live with one another on a daily basis. A BDSM 24/7 is easiest if explained as a vanilla live-in relationship, with the added knowledge of who is in charge and the priority of placing that person first and feeling content with the relationship arranged that way. In other words, a power exchange from one partner (at least) to another. Be that exchange a dominant/submissive one or that of a master/slave arrangement, or even just during sexual encounters. In my opinion, if a power exchange exists in the relationship (inside or out of the bedroom) it qualifies under the term BDSM.
Bondage, S&M and BDSM are all terms that get thrown around with ever-increasing regularity but what does any of it really mean? In recent years this ‘alternative’ lifestyle has been thrust into pop culture limelight without any real discussion of what it actually is. Suddenly, activities that were previously only conducted in secret corners have been wailed about in pop songs and misrepresented in works of fiction. As such, maybe the best place to begin getting a feel for BDSM (pun intended) is to figure out what it’s not.
New Dominants WILL make mistakes. It’s a fact of life. To be fair, experienced Dominants will make mistakes. Intermediate Dominants will make mistakes. If you are a Dominant or think you want to be a Dominant, you will make a mistake.
Accept it and move on.
The only thing that makes a mistake worse is not learning from them. Use them as opportunities to grow and learn. Talk to people about them. Figure out what went wrong then incorporate that and try not to do it again.