Geek Kink Labs Paddles Review

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“Geek Kink is a Dom/Sub operation out of Sacramento, CA. Krissy and Allen love to challenge each other in the bedroom and in the Alchemy Lab where the Geek Kink creations are born. Krissy is a third generation geek. The D&D Monster manual was her bedtime stories and the sound of Captain Picard yelling at Q was her lullaby. Allen is a Wizards of the Coast certified GM and has been perfecting his zombie survival plan for over a decade. These two want to help people make their kink experience fit them. And so, in a galaxy far, far away Geek Kink was born. Geek Kink’s goal is to make toys no man has made before.”

About the smaller paddle in the review: “The small paddles are ones that we tend to take to play events (along with our other products of course).” They are not for sale on their website, but I’m sure if you contacted them they would be happy to make one for you!

Addressing my concerns with the HK paddle: “The handle on the Hello Kitty is just it’s design. Though, we do not use a laser cutter.  This is a small operation right now it is all done manually.  We have someone that cuts all the wood, sands it and so on.  The painting is 100% us. Some items, like the Darth Vader and Horde paddle are stenciled but again that is all done by hand.That is part of why a lot of the items are made to order. Some people have special requests, such as items specifically set measured to fit their hand size. As you had mentioned the size was wrong for his hand.  But the Hello kitty, and most of our paddles come as a 7 layer pressed laminant.

We love custom orders and are always willing to work to make them fit specific sizes.”
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http://www.geekkinklabs.com or http://www.shop.geekkinklabs.com
Hello Kitty Paddle: http://shop.geekkinklabs.com/Hello-Kitty-inspired-BDSM-Paddle-Mature-12.htm
Geek Kink Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GeekKink

A few of ASI’s other favorite Geek Kink items:

ASI’s Facebook: http://www.facebok.com/ASI.BDSM

Check out our youtube channel for more kinky product reviews!

How to Spot a Potential Abuser

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Those red flags are there to expose an abuser if only we were trained to see them. You will read the list and think “Now why oh why didn’t I think of that!” This checklist is a general one, as well all know in the BDSM lifestyle, some of these signs are not that of an abuser but of a good dominant, but like all things it doesn’t hurt to have a good idea about what might fall under the category of a potential abusive relationship/person.

HOW TO SPOT AN ABUSER CHECKLIST

  1. Are you afraid to act like yourself with this person? (no dominant should make you scard to act like your normal self, if you are then that is not right)
  2. Does this person refuse to talk AND listen to you? (The key to a lasting BDSM relationship is open communication, if your dominant is not listening to you, and will not talk with you about any of your fears or the like, then this might be called a red flag by many)
  3. Do you catch this person in lies?
  4. Are you this person’s only friend? (this does not always denote a abuser, some of us do not have a large friend list that we tend to associate with, this does not necessary mean the person will turn out to be an abuser)
  5. Does this person talk badly about other women?
  6. Does this person mistreat their mother/father, siblings or ex?
  7. Is this person mean to animals?
  8. Is this person subject to road rage?
  9. Does this person anger easily?
  10. Does this person hold grudges?
  11. Does this person express their anger physically?
  12. Is this person upset that you have other friends?
  13. Is this person jealous of your friends and relatives?
  14. Does this person try to cut you off from your friends? (This for many that I know if number 1 red flag)
  15. Does this person try to keep you from practicing your faith?
  16. Would you not consider this person a friend outside of this relationship?
  17. Is this person totally fixated on you? (some people say that there is a different between a loving partner and someone who is fixated on you, and its true, but some partners who are considered to be extreamly love and caring unfortunatly by some fall to various degrees into this catagory, thus its up to you to trust you own instints in this matter)
  18. Was this person abused as a child? Was their mother abused?
  19. Is this person co-dependent? (again this is a debated topic among many people apparently, some believe that you can’t have a M/s relationship without developing a co-dependence, others will argue otherwise.)
  20. Does this person have a poor self-image?
  21. Does this person have poor impulse control?
  22. Is this person preoccupied with sex?
  23. Does this person have a history of alcohol or drug abuse or a problem with compulsive gambling?
  24. Has this person pushed for intimacy early in the relationship? Perhaps making all sorts of promises for marriage and hope for the future. Has this person tried to brush aside your concerns as just jitters and tell you to just “trust them”?
  25. Does this person use guilt to try to manipulate you?
  26. Does this person unjustly accuse you of flirting with others?
  27. Does this person take your money?
  28. Must you always watch the TV program that this person wishes to see or go to the movie of their choice? (this for some might be a red flag, but in a M/s relationship its not necessarly so, depending on the level between the two partners.)
  29. Has this person tried “playful” forceful sex? Not stopping until you REALLY objected? (as many might think, that might not be a red flag, but it can be if the dom doesn’t stop when a safe word is used)
  30. Has this person threatened to hit you?
  31. Has this person hit, shoved, bit, kicked or in other ways tried to injure you? (This is not always the case as you might know, but then again doing this in anger is never good at any point in time, also if the intent of injury is more then temp or consentual then well of course its up to you to feel if its abuse or not)
  32. Has this person destroyed any of your property? Has this person threatened to do so?
  33. Does this person have a dual personality? Is this person nice and friendly most of the time, then cruel and heartless at other times?
  34. Does this person have to know where you are every minute and check up on you to make sure? (this might not always be a red flag, if it is something that is already known within your relationship, and has been agreed upon)
  35. Does this person check through your computer history, e-mail, cookies and logs to see where you have been? Does this person read your mail? Listen to your phone calls?
  36. Are you not allowed to be alone with friends and family?
  37. Does this person have a problem with authority figures?
  38. Does this person have extreme highs and extreme lows? Simple questions. Powerful questions. Perhaps even life saving questions.

If you answer YES to more than just even one or two of these you are in what many people would call an abusive relationship. The higher the number of questions checked the more serious the potential of the abuse is likely to be. However, this list is not comprehensive. Your particular situation will likely be somewhat different. If you feel you are being abused, seek professional counselling. Nothing in this checklist should be considered a substitute for counselling.

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, get help now! You can take the first step by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go to http://www.ndvh.org

BDSM/Kink/Fetish Studies PCA/ACA

ATTENTION! The PCA/ACA (Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association) is “looking for presenters for the 2014 conference! This is an academic setting. Papers don’t actually have to be written, but an intelligent and thoughtful presentation is a must.”

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“CALL FOR PAPERS

We are interested in any and all topics about or related to the study of BDSM, sexual kink, or sexual fetishes in all genres, all media, all countries, all kinds, and all eras. All representations of BDSM, Kink, and fetishes in popular culture (fiction, stage, screen—large or small, commercial, advertising, music, song, dance, online, real life, etc.), from anywhere and any-when, are welcome topics of discussion. We also welcome any academic discussion of the real-life practice of BDSM, sexual kink, or sexual fetishes, as well as the lived experiences of people identifying as kinky.

We will consider proposals for individual papers, sessions organized around a theme, and special panels. Sessions are scheduled in one-hour slots, ideally with four papers or speakers per standard session.

Submit a one-page (200-300 words) proposal or abstract.

Please send all inquires to:

Michelle Martinez

Sam Houston State University

mmartinez@shsu.edu”

http://pcaaca.org/bdsmkinkfetish-studies/

Making Time for Kink

bdsmclockOur website has moved! Please check out this article on our new, independent website!

 

By Rose Petal

So, you’re in a BDSM relationship? You have kids? You have a job? You have other responsibilities besides the ones to your Daddy/Dom, or Mommy/Mistress? You have a life, right! As much as we want to, we don’t always have enough time in the day to please everyone, and if you are remotely human, you probably please yourself last at the end of the day, if you get the chance at all. So how do we make the special time we do have with our partner count, when all too often, it is but a fleeting hour of pleasure once or twice a week? Continue reading

Vanilla Men

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Fan Question:

“Hiya! Can I ask some advice? Maybe also to the page page fans but I hope I can be anonymous…

A few months ago I have broken out of a 24/7 D/s, in a bdsm setting I’m submissive. It was my first D/s experience and the relationship lasted 18 months. At the moment I am single, not really looking for a new Dom/Daddy or maybe vanilla-ish partner but it looks like men smell I am single again, they come right at me. I am open about my orientation. What I see what happens is that men are interested in me, they say they are not into bdsm but I notice they think I’m kind of a sex freak (which maybe I will be to them) and they can do everything with me. Do more submissive single notice this? Maybe it has something to do with the 50 Shades hype? However, I don’t like it. There even was a man complaining I behaved not submissive to him and by the tone of his words I could hear he was disappointed although he did not tried to dominate me. He does not have a clou what bdsm is about, I don’t have to tell you that. Are there more single submissives have this kind of experience, vanilla men that are disappointed that you don’t submit to them? And do you also have the feeling vanilla men come after you because you are bdsm orientated?

How do you handle that? I don’t want to look for a D in the scene at the moment and some vanilla’s are quite nice and even into rough sex, which can open grounds for maybe some bdsm components and a bdsm exploration. I’m not searching but I’m open for nice people.”

Answer: Unfortunately, it is pretty common. Those who aren’t experienced or knowledgeable about BDSM tend to generalize submissive females as “freaks”.. or maybe they just confuse the term with nymphomaniacs? It comes with the territory and is something we can either help correct through education (which is our goal here) or learn to deal with. If you are upfront about your needs, then you should get the results you desire. If you want a dominant partner who is willing to develop a D/s relationship, then you’ll find that.. but if you continually look for a dominant figure in a vanilla world.. you’re most likely going to find more and more people expecting you to act promiscuous because you identify as a submissive. You can always check out BDSM communities and talk with people online who have BDSM in common with you.. develop friendships that way

How to Get “the ball rolling”?

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Question: my girlfriend has recently sort of ‘came out’ to me about really liking being dominated, she’s held this back from me for a year and a half or more because she was scared it would scare me away.

I’m a bit hurt that she thought so little of me since we’ve been together for 3 and a half years, but im holding that back because im really more interested in pleasing her.

but whenever i try to start a conversation about boundaries, likes, and dislikes she tuns into an “i dont know i guess” factory. i really want her to be happy because I’ve seen her going online to try to get people to talk dirty to her and it worries me that i can’t provide for her sexually. how can i get this ball rolling?

Answer: It sounds like she’s afraid to admit her desires to you and I can definitely relate to that.. it’s scary to admit those things to someone you are so emotionally attached to. We have a great BDSM checklist  that we encourage all new couples to go over TOGETHER so they can get to know each other’s limits, desires and interests without having to really ‘bring up’ any specific fetish or kink. Just suggest going through the list with her and maybe start off by finding something on it YOU’RE interested in to make her feel more comfortable. Of course, there will be things you guys don’t feel the same about, but you can always reach a compromise about them and try things out together.

Discussing Desires

Fan Question: “I have a problem with talking to my master about fantasies that I have and things I really wanna try. I’m afraid my master will look at me differently or won’t be into it at all. Do you have any advice as to how I can open up to him a little easier?”

Answer: Hi , communication is a HUGE part of a D/s relationship and it is crucial that you both are open and honest with each other. Besides, what’s the point of being involved in BDSM if you aren’t able to express your desires and fantasies openly and freely? It might be best if you both sit down and have a serious discussion about what you both want out of your relationship. You can also go over our BDSM checklist together. It’s a pretty detailed list of fetishes that you guys can discuss together.

From Vanilla to Kink

Photo from Tumblr.com

By Drea Martin

Several of you have expressed a desire to encourage someone  who hasn’t yet explored the  BDSM playground to do so.  This is a perfectly natural desire and one that I have experienced myself at various times in my life. The primary reason for this, in my opinion, is that when we connect with something that is so much a part of who we are at the most basic levels, it excites us. The freedom we feel at being able to lose ourselves in carefully monitored dark spaces and to discover more about ourselves and our most secret longings brings us to such a high place of exhilaration that we wish to share it with everyone, particularly those with whom we share our beds.

Continue reading