(Version 1.4, written 8/14/03) Copyright 2003 by Jay Wiseman
Author of “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction”Hello and welcome to the munch! Perhaps this is your first munch. Perhaps this is your first BDSM event of any kind. Congratulations for contacting what many of us call the BDSM community (or, more simply, “the scene”). You are on the threshold of meeting many new people, having many new experiences, and both learning and growing a great deal. By the way, “BDSM” is a general, overall term for what we do. The term is pronounced just like its letters – B D S M – and represents a compression of the phrases “bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.”
I don’t know if you guys have noticed this or not, but I get spanked a lot. I almost always get a spanking at bedtime, and more often than not, I find myself getting some sort of impromptu spanking in addition to that.
The other day, one of my friends asked me how I manage to keep my butt from falling off when I get spanked so damn much (and often, so damn hard). It’s a challenge, I will tell you! When I first moved in with Malignus and I was adapting to getting spanked so often, plus my skin was outraged at the change in climate and this “winter” thing that was happening, I had some problems with weird, hard, dried out skin on my bottom and thighs. Over the past couple of months, though, I’ve perfected my butt-skincare regime, which I will now share with all of you! I’ve written this in the form of instructions, but I certainly don’t think that I’m the shining beacon of right in the black night of wrongness. I’m very open to suggestion, or to being ignored entirely. 😛
Over the past 18+ months ASI has helped hundreds, if not thousands, of people discover who they are within the bondage community. We get many different degrees of “kinky” people that contact us with questions regarding their specific kinks and that gives me the wonderful opportunity to expand my knowledge on lesser known fetishes and bondage practices. It’s a great experience to be able to look at something and say “Hey, it’s interesting that someone finds that attractive, but I don’t think it’s for me.”
The term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake Doms. Passing all these tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON. Most of these tests are designed for a submissive female trying to sort through men claiming to be Doms online. They are largely based on the many questions I get asked by my female friends still searching for a Dominant partner. Some of them can probably be used by male subs as well, but for the most part, these tests are best for ferreting out male fakes. Vanilla males are usually after ‘easy sex’ and this motive makes them easier to identify than a lot of the fake Doms out there.
When anyone think of submitting to another, the first thought to the vanilla mind is ‘doormat’. One who can not speak up for themselves. This obviously isn’t true, at least in most D/s relationships. There are those small few that lose touch of course, but overall, the communication and trust within these unions are paramount. So when the very idea of showing care to your Dom/me can seem daunting if not downright impossible to a submissive.