A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Munches

munchpin(Version 1.4, written 8/14/03)
Copyright 2003 by Jay Wiseman
Author of “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction”Hello and welcome to the munch! Perhaps this is your first munch. Perhaps this is your first BDSM event of any kind. Congratulations for contacting what many of us call the BDSM community (or, more simply, “the scene”). You are on the threshold of meeting many new people, having many new experiences, and both learning and growing a great deal. By the way, “BDSM” is a general, overall term for what we do. The term is pronounced just like its letters – B D S M – and represents a compression of the phrases “bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.”

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Top 10 FAQ About Getting Involved in the BDSM Community

community

Every day at A Submissive’s Initiative™ we get countless messages and emails about how to get involved in BDSM and the community so I’ve decided to put together a handy list of our top 10 FAQ for easy reference. 

  1. How do I get my partner to do what I want? The quick answer? You don’t. You can’t just make someone like the same fetishes or even be comfortable with the slightest reference to bondage. You can, however, use open communication to help them understand why you think that BDSM is important and/or can help better your relationship.
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BDSM and How to Bring it to Life in your Vanilla Marriage

janet-blair-hairbrush-spanked-in-fuller-brush-man

BDSM and D/s relationships have been in existence for as long as there have been relationships! In fact, back in the 1950s it wasn’t uncommon to see ads depicting husbands spanking their wives over their laps. Of course over time, images and even the prospect of these acts happening in the home were deemed sexist and demeaning. Couples living the lifestyle went into hiding for fear of being seen as deviant and possibly locked up for such reasons.

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6 Ways to Ruin Your Submissive

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By The Artful Dominant

A submissive doesn’t come with an instruction manual and there’s no such thing as a perfect dominant. You can read every lifestyle book you can get your hands on, talk to other Doms, and attend lifestyle workshops.  Yet you can still be left with a nagging feeling that you don’t always get it exactly right.

Perhaps you know lots of the DOs when it comes to the training and care of a submissive but have you ever wished you had a list of the DON’Ts? Even if you think you’re doing your best, sometimes it might not be enough. Take a look at this list of six sure-fire ways to spoil your submissive.

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How Do You Play?

!!!!!If you have been in the lifestyle for any amount of time, even for those of you who are really new, I’m willing to bet that you’ve heard of SSC. If you’ve been around the lifestyle a little longer, then you’ve probably also heard of RACK. Two practices that you probably haven’t heard of(I hadn’t heard of them until a month or so ago! It could be that I’m just behind the times!)is PRICK and the other one, is CCC. If you ask me, that’s A LOT of letters to remember! There tends to be confusion with the more acronyms there becomes, especially if they’re ones that people haven’t heard of before. So, I’m going to help straighten it out for everyone.

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BDSM Basics: Three Steps to The Care and Keeping of a Frequently Spanked Bottom

Written by Alex Reynolds

Alex in Spankingland

Alex in Spankingland

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this or not, but I get spanked a lot. I almost always get a spanking at bedtime, and more often than not, I find myself getting some sort of impromptu spanking in addition to that.

The other day, one of my friends asked me how I manage to keep my butt from falling off when I get spanked so damn much (and often, so damn hard). It’s a challenge, I will tell you! When I first moved in with Malignus and I was adapting to getting spanked so often, plus my skin was outraged at the change in climate and this “winter” thing that was happening, I had some problems with weird, hard, dried out skin on my bottom and thighs. Over the past couple of months, though, I’ve perfected my butt-skincare regime, which I will now share with all of you! I’ve written this in the form of instructions, but I certainly don’t think that I’m the shining beacon of right in the black night of wrongness. I’m very open to suggestion, or to being ignored entirely. 😛

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Am I Kinky Enough? (Your Kink Is Not My Kink and That’s Okay)

img-thingOver the past 18+ months ASI has helped hundreds, if not thousands, of people discover who they are within the bondage community. We get many different degrees of “kinky” people that contact us with questions regarding their specific kinks and that gives me the wonderful opportunity to expand my knowledge on lesser known fetishes and bondage practices. It’s a great experience to be able to look at something and say “Hey, it’s interesting that someone finds that attractive, but I don’t think it’s for me.”

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BDSM Basics: Male Dominant Acid Test (A Guide for New Submissives)

onlineloveThe term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake Doms. Passing all these tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON. Most of these tests are designed for a submissive female trying to sort through men claiming to be Doms online. They are largely based on the many questions I get asked by my female friends still searching for a Dominant partner. Some of them can probably be used by male subs as well, but for the most part, these tests are best for ferreting out male fakes. Vanilla males are usually after ‘easy sex’ and this motive makes them easier to identify than a lot of the fake Doms out there.

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How to Care: Doing it the Submissive Way

When anyone think of submitting to another, the first thought to the vanilla mind is ‘doormat’. One who can not speak up for themselves. This obviously isn’t true, at least in most D/s relationships. There are those small few that lose touch of course, but overall, the communication and trust within these unions are paramount. So when the very idea of showing care to your Dom/me can seem daunting if not downright impossible to a submissive.

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