A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Munches

munchpin(Version 1.4, written 8/14/03)
Copyright 2003 by Jay Wiseman
Author of “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction”Hello and welcome to the munch! Perhaps this is your first munch. Perhaps this is your first BDSM event of any kind. Congratulations for contacting what many of us call the BDSM community (or, more simply, “the scene”). You are on the threshold of meeting many new people, having many new experiences, and both learning and growing a great deal. By the way, “BDSM” is a general, overall term for what we do. The term is pronounced just like its letters – B D S M – and represents a compression of the phrases “bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.”

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6 Ways to Ruin Your Submissive

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By The Artful Dominant

A submissive doesn’t come with an instruction manual and there’s no such thing as a perfect dominant. You can read every lifestyle book you can get your hands on, talk to other Doms, and attend lifestyle workshops.  Yet you can still be left with a nagging feeling that you don’t always get it exactly right.

Perhaps you know lots of the DOs when it comes to the training and care of a submissive but have you ever wished you had a list of the DON’Ts? Even if you think you’re doing your best, sometimes it might not be enough. Take a look at this list of six sure-fire ways to spoil your submissive.

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Encouraging Dominance Outside the Bedroom

pizap.com13883508209452Fan Question

“How do I get my SO of 5 years to be more dominant OUTSIDE of the bedroom? He is amazing behind closed doors, but that is it. I don’t know if I should do less for him, like maybe leave the house a bit of a mess once in awhile, but I need more from him in everyday life.”

IMO, intentionally disobeying or being bratty is never a good idea. You are better off openly discussing your issues and communicating with your partner about your desire for them to be more dominating outside the bedroom. However, I want to warn you that not all people are comfortable with transitioning the D/s aspect outside of the bedroom. You will have to talk with them and maybe come up with a few suggestions for things you can do daily as a submissive and that he can do as a Dominant.

BDSM Basics: Impact Play Safe Zones and Spanking Tips

spankingzones

 

Green = Safe Zones

Yellow = risk zones

Use caution when directly hitting these area or how frequently you hit these areas.

Red = Danger areas

Avoid direct hits to these areas.

Purple circles = Critical Areas

In no event shall these areas receive direct blows or sustain any direct or prolonged pressure. These areas are key to blood circulation, nervous or major joints.

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BDSM Basics: Male Dominant Acid Test (A Guide for New Submissives)

onlineloveThe term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake Doms. Passing all these tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON. Most of these tests are designed for a submissive female trying to sort through men claiming to be Doms online. They are largely based on the many questions I get asked by my female friends still searching for a Dominant partner. Some of them can probably be used by male subs as well, but for the most part, these tests are best for ferreting out male fakes. Vanilla males are usually after ‘easy sex’ and this motive makes them easier to identify than a lot of the fake Doms out there.

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BDSM Basics: 20 Unsolicited Tips for New Dominants

Tips for New Dominants

tumblr_msvfvfwtbr1spnw4xo2_5001. You will fuck up

New Dominants WILL make mistakes. It’s a fact of life. To be fair, experienced Dominants will make mistakes. Intermediate Dominants will make mistakes. If you are a Dominant or think you want to be a Dominant, you will make a mistake.

Accept it and move on.

The only thing that makes a mistake worse is not learning from them. Use them as opportunities to grow and learn. Talk to people about them. Figure out what went wrong then incorporate that and try not to do it again.

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Abusive Past

Question:

“i’ve been a sub for a little over a year. my last Dom didn’t listen to the safety word or even when i said stop and didn’t give any aftercare. being a sub has opened a passionate side of me i thought would never appear but i’m afraid to get another bad Dom. if you have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.”

First off I want to say that I’m sorry you had to go through that. It is unfortunate that some people think that being a Dom means they abuse their submissives. I know it will probably take a lot of trust on your part to be able to take the “gamble” and enter into another D/s relationship, so take your time to heal and learn what you want to get out of your next relationships first. We have several articles on our website that deal with abuse and BDSM, so please feel free to go through these results and I hope they will help you out. Also, we have a sister page, The Safe Submissive, that posts more about safety issues and abuse within the community and several groups on different social sites if you need any support.

Anal Sex Tips

RBY-sex-27-de-98796954Our website has moved! Please check out this article on our new, independent website!

By Jessica Cocker

As someone who loves anal sex I am always surprised when someone tells me they’ve never tried it before. When I ask what was keeping them from giving it a try, fear of pain is usually the answer. Remember, just because a masochist might enjoy pain, that doesn’t mean we enjoy ALL kinds of pain. So, how do you go about attempting anal sex comfortably?

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Anal Advice: Anal Sex Tips

RBY-sex-27-de-98796954

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As someone who loves anal sex I am always surprised when someone tells me they’ve never tried it before. When I ask what was keeping them from giving it a try, fear of pain is usually the answer. Remember, just because a masochist might enjoy pain, that doesn’t mean we enjoy ALL kinds of pain. So, how do you go about attempting anal sex comfortably?

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