BDSM Basics: BDSM & Hypnosis 101

BDSM & Hypnosis

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Recently, hypnosis as a form of play is becoming more popular in the Dutch BDSM-scene. Although it’s still concentrated in small circles, in other countries it is a much more well known kink. But there are a lot of misconceptions going around about hypnosis. Some people just don’t see the link to BDSM, others have expectations of it that could never be met. Still others see it as scary, or even dangerous (bollocks!). In this article I’d like to present my ideas on combining BDSM and hypnosis and to explain a bit about hypnosis. The article is meant as an introduction, not a study-guide.

To start with a popular misconception: Hypnosis is not a magic tool to force someone to do whatever you want. Stage shows, and shows like those of Derren Brown, might make you believe differently, but those shows usually start with a careful selection of participants. But: with a willing partner you can certainly achieve magical results!

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BDSM Basics: What is a Collar and What Does it Mean?

Different Kinds of Collar and Their Meanings


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A collar is well-known symbol within the BDSM community, but it seems that more and more often I’m seeing newcomers use the collar as simply another fetish accessory. They are unaware of the intense symbolism behind the collar, what it means, why it’s worn and why it shouldn’t be used as a prop.

For me, a collar is as significant as a wedding ring and although my collar is not locked I never remove it without permission from my Dom. Depending on the type of collar you have, what it’s made of and what the symbolism behind its gifting to you, you may wear it only during certain times or even have it replaced. Remember, that a collar’s meaning will be specific to only you and your partner. The rules you set in place for you will be unique to your relationship.

There are many different types of collars and you may choose to use many of them or only one of them.

Collar of Consideration: Usually given at the beginning of a potential new relationship for an agreed amount of time. At the end of that time, partners decide to either extend the time, take their relationship to the next level or move on from each other.

Collar of Training: This is usually the collar given after the Collar of Consideration. This collar represents that the relationship is evolving and is sometimes referred to as the “engagement ring” equivalent. The relationship is usually more serious and a contract is generally agreed upon before this collar is accepted.

Formal Collar or Collar of Ownership: Given as a sign of commitment to each other, similar to a wedding ring. This collar is the highest value and should be treated with respect and should not be given without serious thought. This collar is usually present in a collaring ceremony.

Collar of Protection: Given to a submissive when protection is needed due to a failed or abusive relationship or outside danger from another. The collar is noted with the Dominant’s initials and a small “p”. This collar allows the submissive safety. Usually this submissive is not approachable by another Dominant without the permission of the protecting Dominant.

Play Collar: Collar worn during a scene. This is usually a functional collar with a D-ring or other functional qualities.

Public Collar: Worn in a vanilla setting in place of other collar. This may not necessarily be an actual collar, but could be a piece of jewelry or other item of symbolism.

Slave Collar: This collar is usually a permanent collar given to a slave. These collars may never be removed or removed only by their Master.

 

No matter which collar you wear, remember what it represents and treat it with respect. Never neglect or dismiss your collar!

BDSM and How to Bring it to Life in your Vanilla Marriage

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BDSM and D/s relationships have been in existence for as long as there have been relationships! In fact, back in the 1950s it wasn’t uncommon to see ads depicting husbands spanking their wives over their laps. Of course over time, images and even the prospect of these acts happening in the home were deemed sexist and demeaning. Couples living the lifestyle went into hiding for fear of being seen as deviant and possibly locked up for such reasons.

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BDSM Basics: Three Steps to The Care and Keeping of a Frequently Spanked Bottom

Written by Alex Reynolds

Alex in Spankingland

Alex in Spankingland

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this or not, but I get spanked a lot. I almost always get a spanking at bedtime, and more often than not, I find myself getting some sort of impromptu spanking in addition to that.

The other day, one of my friends asked me how I manage to keep my butt from falling off when I get spanked so damn much (and often, so damn hard). It’s a challenge, I will tell you! When I first moved in with Malignus and I was adapting to getting spanked so often, plus my skin was outraged at the change in climate and this “winter” thing that was happening, I had some problems with weird, hard, dried out skin on my bottom and thighs. Over the past couple of months, though, I’ve perfected my butt-skincare regime, which I will now share with all of you! I’ve written this in the form of instructions, but I certainly don’t think that I’m the shining beacon of right in the black night of wrongness. I’m very open to suggestion, or to being ignored entirely. 😛

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BDSM Basics: Impact Play Safe Zones and Spanking Tips

spankingzones

 

Green = Safe Zones

Yellow = risk zones

Use caution when directly hitting these area or how frequently you hit these areas.

Red = Danger areas

Avoid direct hits to these areas.

Purple circles = Critical Areas

In no event shall these areas receive direct blows or sustain any direct or prolonged pressure. These areas are key to blood circulation, nervous or major joints.

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BDSM Basics: Male Dominant Acid Test (A Guide for New Submissives)

onlineloveThe term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake Doms. Passing all these tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON. Most of these tests are designed for a submissive female trying to sort through men claiming to be Doms online. They are largely based on the many questions I get asked by my female friends still searching for a Dominant partner. Some of them can probably be used by male subs as well, but for the most part, these tests are best for ferreting out male fakes. Vanilla males are usually after ‘easy sex’ and this motive makes them easier to identify than a lot of the fake Doms out there.

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Dicas para novos Dominantes

1. Você vai fazer merda.

Novos dominantes VÃO cometer erros. É um fato da vida. Para ser justa, Dominantes experientes vão cometer erros. Dominantes Intermediários vão cometer erros. Se você é um Dominante ou pensa em ser um Dominante, você vai cometer erros.

Aceite e siga em frente.

A única coisa que torna um erro pior é não aprender através deles. Use-os como uma oportunidade de crescer e aprender. Converse com pessoas sobre os erros. Descubra o que aconteceu de errado então nessa linha de pensamento não tente não cometer o mesmo erro novamente.

Se você agir como que tudo o que você faz é perfeito e sem falhas, então você é um idiota e qualquer um que fizer alguma “play” ou se submeter a você também será um idiota. Pois ninguém é perfeito. Entretanto o que podemos fazer é tentar aprender com nossos erros e melhorar as nossas habilidades.

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How to Care: Doing it the Submissive Way

When anyone think of submitting to another, the first thought to the vanilla mind is ‘doormat’. One who can not speak up for themselves. This obviously isn’t true, at least in most D/s relationships. There are those small few that lose touch of course, but overall, the communication and trust within these unions are paramount. So when the very idea of showing care to your Dom/me can seem daunting if not downright impossible to a submissive.

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BDSM Basics: A Sound off on Sensory Deprivation

Wikipedia defines ‘Sensory Deprivation’ as; “The deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more of the senses. Simple devices such as blindfolds or hoods and earmuffs can cut off sight and hearing, while more complex devices can also cut off the sense of smell, touch, taste, thermoception (heat-sense), and ‘gravity’. Sensory deprivation has been used in various alternative medicines and in psychological experiments…”

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