To Domspace, Dom-drop and Beyond!

Also sometimes referred to as ‘Top-space’ and ‘Top-drop’, you don’t hear about Domspace and Dom-drop as often as you do subspace and sub-drop. Why not? There are some speculative reasons, as I will call them. For starters, society mostly still praises gender defined rolls, and the hype is that since men don’t talk about their feelings much, and since most men in BDSM must be Doms, then…..Wrong! Anyone who is in the lifestyle in a serious educated manner can squash that pretty quickly. Another speculation, often heard from subs who are just starting their exploration, is that Doms must somehow be impervious to giving into their feelings because they seem so in control all the time, after all, they are dominant, right? Make no mistake, this thought is not usually perpetuated by insensitivity to another’s needs, but rather by a higher experience level Dom with a beginner sub, who in the findings of their new lifestyle, often see their Doms as being ‘Invincible’ when caught up in it. The Dom naturally takes his position, caring for the sub and their needs and ‘education’ as it were, to his specifications and their agreed upon situations. Sadly, I cannot seem to find any scientific information, studies, or otherwise that seem totally reliable on these subjects. I did find many, many blogs, articles and personal stories from all level of experience, and will use that information to the best of my ability to hopefully give you some relevant and helpful information.

Continue reading

To Subspace, Sub-drop, and Beyond!

The term subspace is often used in D/s conversation, for describing the ‘high’ a submissive can feel during a scene. Simply put, the experience of intense pain, and/or pleasure can trigger a nervous system-wide response with a release of chemicals including endorphins, enkephalins, and epinephrine from different areas of your brain. These are the body’s natural pain killers, in reality, our body’s very survival instincts kicking in.

Continue reading

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare by Mistress Abode

tumblr_inline_mkea0pL9RY1qz4rgpOur website has moved! Please check out this article on our new, independent website!

 

Written by Mistress Abode

There are lots of reasons you are checking out this emergency post…

Perhaps you are a sub who played real time with a Dom/me who was lousy at aftercare. Or you are a dominant or a switch who played with a sub who didn’t realize tops need aftercare as well. Perhaps you have an online Master who doesn’t think aftercare is required after online play – you on the other hand know from prior play experience that you need aftercare, and also sometimes experience subdrop. Or perhaps your normally supportive and experienced Mistress is unable to fulfill their usual “special time” due to unforseen real life commitments.

Continue reading

Subspace & After Care

During mentoring sessions with new or less-experienced Dommes, when I mention subspace, the reply I often get is, “What is that?”The subspace and aftercare are topics that tops playing in SL are often unaware of. To ensure everyone is safe and happy, however, Dommes need to have a working knowledge of what subspace is, what causes it, how to identify if a sub is in subspace when playing and how to spot the signs of sub-drop. 

Continue reading