Letting Go

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Fan Question:

“I need some advice. I have always been in control. I gave up that control to my Master/boyfriend and sometimes have a hard time letting it go. I can be a bit of a brat and I don’t want to disappoint him. What can I do to let go of the control?”

Answer:

Being a brat isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just depends on when you are a brat and the reasons behind the brattiness. For some Dominants it can be an endearing quality, but you have to remember that being demanding and argumentative are not likable characteristics for any submissive and honestly goes against what being a submissive is.

If you feel a bratty moment coming a long, tell your Dom! Just say I really feel ____ or I’d like to really ____ right now. Being honest is part of developing a healthy relationship and is absolutely necessary for making a BDSM relationship work. Communication can go a long way, so let him/her know you are struggling with this aspect. That way they can recognize when you are struggling and try to help you through it. It’s a Dominant’s job to guide you, so let them help!

You can also start a journal to keep track of your bratty moments. Think about what triggered the feeling, what helped you calm down or what pushed you over the edge, and ways you can handle future issues.

Good luck!

Abusive Past

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Fan Question:
“Hi sorry to bother you im just looking for sum advice im new to the lable of a 24/7 submissive ive had a previous relationship where my submission was abused so now ive been extremely bad and been very bratty to the poin where my sir as questiond my submissiveness and he got extremely aggressive with me and told me I just wanna be dominated not submissive x it really hurts deep inside when I displease him x but he lost his temper sud I stay accept my punishment for being bad or as he crossed the line losing his temper with me x”

Answer: Everyone is allowed to lose their temper, and everyone is allowed to make mistakes. I think the main thing is where you guys go from here. I think the best thing is to sit down and have a good, open discussion (without pointing any blame) and talk about the facts. Where do you want your relationship to go? What can you both do to improve the communication, etc. He also has to understand (and you should tell him, if he doesn’t already know) about your past.. because that will change how you react and how you submit.. even if you don’t realize it. It’s a part of you.

Bratty?

Fan Question: “I have trouble submitting fully, as my cheeky personality comes through and makes people see me as a brat. Does anyone have advice for preventing this?”

Answer: My advice would be.. don’t stop being who you are! If you are a little bratty.. so be it… a lot of submissives have “bratty” qualities and this is something that a Dom will either find endearing.. or not. You shouldn’t change your personality to please someone.