6 Ways to Ruin Your Submissive

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of anankkml/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By The Artful Dominant

A submissive doesn’t come with an instruction manual and there’s no such thing as a perfect dominant. You can read every lifestyle book you can get your hands on, talk to other Doms, and attend lifestyle workshops.  Yet you can still be left with a nagging feeling that you don’t always get it exactly right.

Perhaps you know lots of the DOs when it comes to the training and care of a submissive but have you ever wished you had a list of the DON’Ts? Even if you think you’re doing your best, sometimes it might not be enough. Take a look at this list of six sure-fire ways to spoil your submissive.

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Encouraging Dominance Outside the Bedroom

pizap.com13883508209452Fan Question

“How do I get my SO of 5 years to be more dominant OUTSIDE of the bedroom? He is amazing behind closed doors, but that is it. I don’t know if I should do less for him, like maybe leave the house a bit of a mess once in awhile, but I need more from him in everyday life.”

IMO, intentionally disobeying or being bratty is never a good idea. You are better off openly discussing your issues and communicating with your partner about your desire for them to be more dominating outside the bedroom. However, I want to warn you that not all people are comfortable with transitioning the D/s aspect outside of the bedroom. You will have to talk with them and maybe come up with a few suggestions for things you can do daily as a submissive and that he can do as a Dominant.

BDSM Basics: Three Steps to The Care and Keeping of a Frequently Spanked Bottom

Written by Alex Reynolds

Alex in Spankingland

Alex in Spankingland

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this or not, but I get spanked a lot. I almost always get a spanking at bedtime, and more often than not, I find myself getting some sort of impromptu spanking in addition to that.

The other day, one of my friends asked me how I manage to keep my butt from falling off when I get spanked so damn much (and often, so damn hard). It’s a challenge, I will tell you! When I first moved in with Malignus and I was adapting to getting spanked so often, plus my skin was outraged at the change in climate and this “winter” thing that was happening, I had some problems with weird, hard, dried out skin on my bottom and thighs. Over the past couple of months, though, I’ve perfected my butt-skincare regime, which I will now share with all of you! I’ve written this in the form of instructions, but I certainly don’t think that I’m the shining beacon of right in the black night of wrongness. I’m very open to suggestion, or to being ignored entirely. 😛

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BDSM Basics: Impact Play Safe Zones and Spanking Tips

spankingzones

 

Green = Safe Zones

Yellow = risk zones

Use caution when directly hitting these area or how frequently you hit these areas.

Red = Danger areas

Avoid direct hits to these areas.

Purple circles = Critical Areas

In no event shall these areas receive direct blows or sustain any direct or prolonged pressure. These areas are key to blood circulation, nervous or major joints.

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BDSM Basics: Male Dominant Acid Test (A Guide for New Submissives)

onlineloveThe term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. Gold however, will stand up to most acids. The ‘Acid Test’ was an easy way for people to make sure they had a real nugget of gold and not a lump of the ‘fool’s’ variety. In the same way, these tests are meant to be quick ways to identify fake Doms. Passing all these tests is no guarantee either. There is no replacement for getting to know your prospective partner as well as possible BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET IN PERSON. Most of these tests are designed for a submissive female trying to sort through men claiming to be Doms online. They are largely based on the many questions I get asked by my female friends still searching for a Dominant partner. Some of them can probably be used by male subs as well, but for the most part, these tests are best for ferreting out male fakes. Vanilla males are usually after ‘easy sex’ and this motive makes them easier to identify than a lot of the fake Doms out there.

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How to Care: Doing it the Submissive Way

When anyone think of submitting to another, the first thought to the vanilla mind is ‘doormat’. One who can not speak up for themselves. This obviously isn’t true, at least in most D/s relationships. There are those small few that lose touch of course, but overall, the communication and trust within these unions are paramount. So when the very idea of showing care to your Dom/me can seem daunting if not downright impossible to a submissive.

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Negotiating A 24/7 BDSM Relationship

Author: Raven Shadowborne © March 1, 1999

247-reference-servicesFor everyone, what constitutes a 24/7 relationships differs, like everything else in BDSM. The definition of a 24/7 relationship is simply a relationship where the people involved live with one another on a daily basis. A BDSM 24/7 is easiest if explained as a vanilla live-in relationship, with the added knowledge of who is in charge and the priority of placing that person first and feeling content with the relationship arranged that way. In other words, a power exchange from one partner (at least) to another. Be that exchange a dominant/submissive one or that of a master/slave arrangement, or even just during sexual encounters. In my opinion, if a power exchange exists in the relationship (inside or out of the bedroom) it qualifies under the term BDSM.

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The Reality of BDSM

Topmusicablog_RihannaSMVideoBondage, S&M and BDSM are all terms that get thrown around with ever-increasing regularity but what does any of it really mean? In recent years this ‘alternative’ lifestyle has been thrust into pop culture limelight without any real discussion of what it actually is. Suddenly, activities that were previously only conducted in secret corners have been wailed about in pop songs and misrepresented in works of fiction. As such, maybe the best place to begin getting a feel for BDSM (pun intended) is to figure out what it’s not.

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BDSM Basics: 20 Unsolicited Tips for New Dominants

Tips for New Dominants

tumblr_msvfvfwtbr1spnw4xo2_5001. You will fuck up

New Dominants WILL make mistakes. It’s a fact of life. To be fair, experienced Dominants will make mistakes. Intermediate Dominants will make mistakes. If you are a Dominant or think you want to be a Dominant, you will make a mistake.

Accept it and move on.

The only thing that makes a mistake worse is not learning from them. Use them as opportunities to grow and learn. Talk to people about them. Figure out what went wrong then incorporate that and try not to do it again.

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BDSM Basics: How to Flog Someone So They’ll Come Back for More

Photo from bdsmtrainingacademy.com

Photo from bdsmtrainingacademy.com

By Keith L. Kendrick

To the novice flogging may look easy, and actually it’s not that difficult, but it does require concentration and physical exertion along with some practice. However, knowledge of some basic guidelines can greatly enhance the learning curve and enrich the experience for both the top and the bottom. And a beginner would do well to practice on a wall or pillow, focusing on the intended striking point.

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