BDSM Basics: How to Flog Someone So They’ll Come Back for More

Photo from bdsmtrainingacademy.com

Photo from bdsmtrainingacademy.com

By Keith L. Kendrick

To the novice flogging may look easy, and actually it’s not that difficult, but it does require concentration and physical exertion along with some practice. However, knowledge of some basic guidelines can greatly enhance the learning curve and enrich the experience for both the top and the bottom. And a beginner would do well to practice on a wall or pillow, focusing on the intended striking point.

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Race Play and Being a Black Submissive

What is BDSM?

The simple definition, as found through Wikipedia, is a variety of erotic practices involving Dominance and submission, role-playing, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics 1

There under this umbrella terminology includes relationships. D/s (Dominant/submissive), M/s (Master/slave), and Tops/bottoms.

In this post, the discussion will focus on being a submissive or slave in the lifestyle while also living as a black man or woman.

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Subspace & Domspace: The Poll

Subspace Poll

I thought I would try out the new poll plugin for ASI with my articles on subspace and drop, and Domspace and drop! We are always educating ourselves with information in this lifestyle, but there isn’t much ‘real time’ applicable reasearch, even simple polls,to let us know what current trends there are, or even how we may feel about a certain subject. I don’t know about you, but I like participating in ‘real time’ stuff like that! As with my last poll, I will be keeping this one open indefinitely, so we can also see how things may or may not change as time passes. Thanks everyone for taking the time to participate! And if you haven’t read the articles that go with this poll, and would like to, you can right here:

To Subspace, Sub-drop and Beyond!  /  To Domspace, Dom-drop and Beyond

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To Domspace, Dom-drop and Beyond!

Also sometimes referred to as ‘Top-space’ and ‘Top-drop’, you don’t hear about Domspace and Dom-drop as often as you do subspace and sub-drop. Why not? There are some speculative reasons, as I will call them. For starters, society mostly still praises gender defined rolls, and the hype is that since men don’t talk about their feelings much, and since most men in BDSM must be Doms, then…..Wrong! Anyone who is in the lifestyle in a serious educated manner can squash that pretty quickly. Another speculation, often heard from subs who are just starting their exploration, is that Doms must somehow be impervious to giving into their feelings because they seem so in control all the time, after all, they are dominant, right? Make no mistake, this thought is not usually perpetuated by insensitivity to another’s needs, but rather by a higher experience level Dom with a beginner sub, who in the findings of their new lifestyle, often see their Doms as being ‘Invincible’ when caught up in it. The Dom naturally takes his position, caring for the sub and their needs and ‘education’ as it were, to his specifications and their agreed upon situations. Sadly, I cannot seem to find any scientific information, studies, or otherwise that seem totally reliable on these subjects. I did find many, many blogs, articles and personal stories from all level of experience, and will use that information to the best of my ability to hopefully give you some relevant and helpful information.

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To Subspace, Sub-drop, and Beyond!

The term subspace is often used in D/s conversation, for describing the ‘high’ a submissive can feel during a scene. Simply put, the experience of intense pain, and/or pleasure can trigger a nervous system-wide response with a release of chemicals including endorphins, enkephalins, and epinephrine from different areas of your brain. These are the body’s natural pain killers, in reality, our body’s very survival instincts kicking in.

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Anal Advice: Prostate Play

ASI received a fan question from a male who seemed ashamed to ask his female partner to repeat a few anal tricks on him and he wasn’t sure how to approach it with her in the future. I can definitely understand where he was coming from, but I also felt kind of bad. It is extremely unfortunate that in our society prostate and male anal play is seen with such a negative stereotype and it’s seen that way because of the stigma that surrounds being a homosexual male. As someone who fully supports trans* and gay rights, it makes me extremely sad to see this unfair stigma effecting what should be a very healthy sexual activity between consenting adults. Continue reading

Abusive Past

Question:

“i’ve been a sub for a little over a year. my last Dom didn’t listen to the safety word or even when i said stop and didn’t give any aftercare. being a sub has opened a passionate side of me i thought would never appear but i’m afraid to get another bad Dom. if you have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.”

First off I want to say that I’m sorry you had to go through that. It is unfortunate that some people think that being a Dom means they abuse their submissives. I know it will probably take a lot of trust on your part to be able to take the “gamble” and enter into another D/s relationship, so take your time to heal and learn what you want to get out of your next relationships first. We have several articles on our website that deal with abuse and BDSM, so please feel free to go through these results and I hope they will help you out. Also, we have a sister page, The Safe Submissive, that posts more about safety issues and abuse within the community and several groups on different social sites if you need any support.

BDSM Basics: Caring For Your Toys

After diving head first (as most of us do) into the world of BDSM we generally start to feel comfortable enough to purchase a few “toys”, then a few more, and a few more, and just a couple more.. until we have a collection that needs its own hiding space in the back of the closet. Sure, these toys are plenty of fun, but do you know how to properly take care of them? Continue reading

The Good Girl’s Guide to Domination

This is a PREVIEW article written by Akasha. To read the other chapters, visit her website. COPYRIGHT 2003, 2005 Akasha@Akashaweb.com

“I believe that many women are intimidated by and uncomfortable with the concept of erotic female domination because of the way they see it portrayed in adult films and in the media. I believe that men also develop many bad habits after years of satisfying their fantasies on their own, and focusing on their own pleasure. Through communication, trust and safe, sane & consensual exploration of erotic power exchange, I think many couples can experience pleasure they never imagined, and also develop better relationship communication and intimacy.” Continue reading