BDSM Basics: How to Find a Kinky Partner in 10 Steps

tumblr_mr5wbcFjyQ1swo0q8o1_400You’re probably expecting a super short list of easy-to-do tasks like “Sign up for FetLife” or “Wear more leather!”, but sorry to break it to you, finding a kinky partner is probably just as hard, if not harder, than finding a vanilla one.

For one, finding a kinky partner means finding someone that shares your common interests, that you enjoy spending time with, and also doesn’t mind calling you a slut from time to time. Whereas, finding a vanilla partner can be as simple as walking into the nearest club or bar and turning on the charm (ok, so maybe that’s a little over-simplified).

But finding that perfect blend of kinky and acceptable mate material can be a difficult job so we’re going to give you some pointers on how to find that special someone who is willing to slap your ass AND cuddle with you on the couch!

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Existing Relationship or Start New?

Fan Question: “I have a question… I am very interested in becoming a Sub or atleast trying it out. How do you find someone you can trust to be your Dom, is it possible for two people in a relationship build this type of relationship or is it something that is completely separate for a new type relationship? Also if is, how is it something you get started? Not sure if you know or have any advise but thought I give it a try.”

Answer: You can try to incorporate BDSM into your existing relationship or start a new one, depending on the agreement you have with your current partner. There are some that can work BDSM into a relationship they already have and others where that kind of dynamic won’t work.. so they have a separate relationship (with all partners aware). For some tips on how to start, you can check out our website’s beginner’s articles and maybe post in our forum too!