A Lesson in Betrayal and a Call for Support

tumblr_mu57bwmM4w1qec0hto1_400If you don’t know by know, at ASI we put a lot of emphasis on safety, especially when it comes to finally taking that step and opening yourself up to someone. Unfortunately, I’ve seen so many of my friends in the community hurt by the partners they have chosen, no matter how many resources or words of advice we are able to give them.

In the end, even if you have the best of the best tools available, only you can really decide who is right for you in your D/s relationship and sometimes that may mean learning a lesson the hard way. Sometimes, that is the only way we can learn, but that does not mean it has to be the end of your submissiveness (or Dominance). But you do have to learn to trust again and, depending on the severity of the betrayal, you may have to learn who you are as a submissive (or Dominant) again.

In my circle of friends I recently had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful submissive. She loves her children with all her heart, goes to church and is seriously one of the sweetest women I have met. Unfortunately, the circumstances around me getting to know her were not really the best.

betrayalShe decided to trust a man whom she had known for 10 years and let him in her life as her Dominant. He left his wife for her and when she started to have car troubles and didn’t have the finances to take care of the mounting issues he offered to put the car in his name and fix it. What she didn’t know was that he was going to also take advantage of her. He took her car, with her kids’ car seats in it, and disappeared.

When this happened she was brave enough to post a cautionary tale on Facebook, warning other submissives of the dangers that could happen to them. She wrote in the comments that she didn’t know where to start, how to begin picking up the pieces, because she didn’t have a support system to help her.

And that is where I had to jump in. I immediately told her I would at least get her the resources she needed to start again, take baby steps to recovery, and we began to talk online about what happened, what she needed, then about her kids, homeschooling, etc. I asked our online group to support a sister in need and with the help of another group we are coming together for someone who was left with nowhere to turn.

Thankfully, she found her support system in our community. THIS is what we should be doing. THIS is how we should behave. iStockphoto_Juanmonino-460x307We should never think about judging someone because of their decisions, because, lets face it, we all make mistakes now and then. What we should be doing is making sure they have the information they need to make better decisions in the future, the support they need to feel healthy again and a community that will advocate for them.

I am asking that we come together for her and show her what it means to be a community. ASI, along with a second group, is asking for donations and items that are needed for her family.

story-gofundme-193831Donations can be made through a website called GoFundMe, where we have setup a campaign for her. Although our “goal” is small, she needs as much as we can give her. She has 5 children, she homeschools and is currently unable to work due to no longer having a vehicle and lives in a small town where public transportation is not an option. All donations through this website go DIRECTLY to her.

You can also make a donation to her through Paypal or by offering to send her and her children an item or items off their list. For more information on what they need, you can message the Facebook page.

We know that not everyone is in the position to help, but even $1 towards her campaign will help in the long run. If you are not able to donate, I’m sure she would appreciate some words of encouragement. When commenting please remember that ASI is a judge-free zone!

3 thoughts on “A Lesson in Betrayal and a Call for Support

    • Choosing a Dom/me, requires patience TEdBauer. It’s not a process that can easily be done, and it is a learning process. One has to know that the person they are choosing will be right for them. Best way to start, is find local meet-up groups, and see where they take you. Fetlife is a good site you could use to learn what meet-ups will be happening in what areas. Or it could turn out to be where you could meet your future Domme.

  1. I wish that I was in a position to help her I know how hard it is to pick yourself up and start again after such a betrayal I would like to suggest that she look into a web site called freecycle.com they post items (anything from furniture to diapers) for free to members of the page some of the require that you pick the item up yourself and I understand that this would be difficult given her current situation but there are also others that are willing to deliver I hope this helps and I wish her the very best.

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